The not so beautiful fangirl life. (A novel by me)

Hey everyone.

Okay, before starting this entry I have to apologise for maybe...a ton of spelling & grammar mistakes. I'm actually sitting here, writing this blogentry right now while I'm somehow just busy holding back my tears.
As you can see in the title, this entry will be dedicated to fangirling, bands, and the bassist of my favourite band leaving today.
Who am I talking about?
Well, apparently my favourite band is BORN. And yes, after a year of pausing his activities, bassist Kifumi left the band today.

"Thank you so much everyone. Bye bye."
Now his twitter is deleted.

I already went through this "a band I like broke up"-thing a few times..AND I DON'T EVEN MEAN MCR OR SOMETHING.
I'm talking more about bands like Versailles (who I don't know about if they're actually on hiatus...OKAY NOBODY KNOWS) or D'espairsRay (I was a fetus VK fan when they split up...but it did hurt me of course).
But's 'just' a member leaving. Yeah. A member that I liked a lot. From a band that I really, really love. Last year he already paused his activities due to personal reasons, stating that he'd do anything to come back as soon as possible because of the band being his everything...but he didn't. The fandom (including me and some people I like) had to wait a whole year for the news of him leaving the band.
This literally felt like a punch in the face and made my heart stop beating for a second.
Sometimes I think my love for bands, music, concerts and band members is stronger than what I feel for persons around me.
Sounds stupid, I know, but I'm just telling the truth. BORN became my favourite band only a few months before Kifumi started his break...but they were one of my first VK bands when I first got into japanese music about 4 years ago, even if I didn't like them so much back then.

It's always so hard when band members are leaving their bands. There will forever be something missing in the band, an important part just disappeared and it won't come back. Somehow the band will never be fully complete again, even if they're going on with a new member, like Three Days Grace did when Adam left, like Nightwish did after they kicked out Tarja or later when Anette left or, to go back to japanese musicians, Screw did after Yuuto left (even if I personally prefer Rui over him)
Secondly, I'm now seriously worried about Kifumi because of his "personal reasons". It sounds like something really bad might have happened to him...and when you like someone, you care about them. You can't just leave everything behind just because this person's like...not there anymore, even if you don't know them personally.
Furthermore, I dreamt of seeing BORN life at least once in my life...because their lives seem to be amazing. But even if I get the chance to attend one of their concerts someday (what I think is somehow impossible...sadly), it wouldn't be the same without Kifumi, the little derp dancing around on stage like he's starting a moshpit alone and being gay with Ryoga (OTP feels).

From "Devilish Of The Punk", their last single together.
(from left to right: Tomo (Drums), Kifumi (Bass), Ryoga (Vocals), K (Guitar) & Ray (Guitar) )

I hope things will get better for him...and I hope the band finds a new bass player who's worth taking his place...but no one could ever REPLACE someone as unique as Kifumi.
I'll definitely miss him...and it will be hard for me to get over it.
But I have to accept his decision and the bands' decision to continue their activities without him.
I don't know if I can still call them "my favourite band" anymore, but I will support them for sure.
And this had to be said now because I'm a sad fangirl and nobody (except for my girlfriend) actually shares my feels right now.

Mata ne!

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